The Diachronic Barber Pole Observations of a Recovering Hockey Exile

ChiVan Musings and In-Game Scribbles, Game Three

May 5, 2009, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Vancouver 3 at Chicago 1 (Game Three, Tied 1-1 going in)

First Period (RDS)

Khabibulin had a great game last time out and has impressed me with how much speed he has left.

Taylor Pyatt plays his first game since April 2nd.

We’re in Chicago and the legendary doom and thunder of Chicago Stadium seems absent. Very quiet crowd to start. Where is the Montreal Mania? Perhaps they are more thoughtful here. Older. Calmer, more analytical.

Early scrum in front of Luongo. From a distance shot. Not much penetration either way for the two teams in the first minute.

Wellwood takes the next faceoff. Chicago gains the puck. Toews on the ice with Kane and Sharp against the Wellwood line.

Chicago gets control and they make it look like a power-play. Another scrum and more players are involved. No real rough stuff, just jostling. But a penalty is applied. Fort Luongo is big white glove and spread ostrich pads. Canucks’ Vaananen called for roughing.

Campbell is mobile on the point. Rolls and searches before passing. Not the immobile stance of Markov. Chicago gets the cross-ice passes, the top of the diamond motion and the freedom to move that other teams might not get. It’s speed and mobility. Byfuglien takes out a Canuck and goes to the box. End of power-play. Four-on-four for one minute.

Hard to have a judgement on this play. Byfuglien is a bit like Najera or Varejao. Annoying. Infuriatingly effective. Tough. Disliked. High energy.

Nothing much from the four-on-four and Vancouver controls on their brief power-play. They move the puck around an orthodox box shape. Connect their dots. But no dangerous shots result.

Even strength. Back to the Canuck speed-deficit.

Bad long pass from Vancouver’s alternate captain results in an eventual turnover deep in Chicago ice.

Chicago move the puck underneath smoothly. Again, they show great skill and depth in that skill. Despite losing 4-1 to Montreal earlier this season, Chicago was and is a very impressive cluster of hockey nuggets. Silver and some gold.

The Blackhawk insignia is far more dignified than the shameful Redskin logo in Washington. Both should go, though. Enough already.

Why can’t the carrot industry support hockey? I’m bored of beer commercials.

The companies that adorn the hockey walls of Chicago’s rink are a different group than the Bell Central. Lots of Geico, Harris and impact. And (the exceedingly poor quality) Bud Light. American beer. Now that’s a product that definitely needs advertising to survive.

Canucks advance on a near three-on-two but Chicago’s speed ends that. Canucks can only gain the puck off Chicago mistakes. Soooo slow. It’s a bit like what a 1999 team might look like if they played in today’s NHL. A bit embarrassing.

Canucks are also surviving on faceoffs. They have won six of seven thus far. Just over ten minutes in the first. This crowd is catatonic. It’s as if they’ve invited 20,000 rugby fans. Hey, have a look. We call it hockey. “How quaint. What do they call that? Skating?”

Sudden chance, best of the game. But Khabibulin is up to the task. Covers up.

RDS’ number two crew have gone unnoticed by me. I mention this because in the second period I have grudgingly elected to follow the game on CBC. I’m sure I’ll notice a decline. But I hope not. I hate suffering unnecessarily. All RDS does is call the game and provide analysis based on research.

Chicago’s Ladd shoots wide and harmlessly. Canucks advance. Mini-dump from the hash. Can’t contain. Can’t control. One of the Sedins. I expected much more. Why hang back? Go get the game.

Khabibulin saves on another here-I-am chance by Vancouver. They occupy space in a different way than Eastern teams do. It’s hard to anticipate their forays, their resulting chances. Maybe I’ll figure it out. I’ll let you know.

Oh. The replay shows classic Canadian tactics. Shoot from the blue. Hope for a rebound in front. This one works and Khabibulin got his left pad on it. I really don’t miss what nineties hockey I watched. Yes. I am a fan of the New NHL. Let’s hope the Burkes, Clarkes and Quinns don’t get their hands on this game again.

Chicago goes to the power-play. They run it with only one guy on the point when they can. Aggressive. They can count on their speed to protect them from any resulting two-on-ones.

They set up and move it around. More of a table hockey alignment. Pass. Don’t move. Let the puck be your speed. But no quality shots. Vancouver clears once in the middle and once at the end. They kill it.

Canucks have the size advantage. Tony Tucker, Larry Holmes and Trevor Berbick also had the size advantage. Tyson had speed. And in hockey, speed is power.

Sundin dumps in from the middle of the ice. He is still huge. Puck bounces around like a marble in a jar behind Khabibulin. Banged out in front. Into a yawning gape.

1-0, Vancouver.

Who says speed kills? (I do, actually)

But for now, Vancouver has the lead and is surviving. On paper. Can it last? Canucks have a few Shark formulae, it seems.

Blackhawk backcheck is organized and face-up. Like a good punt-return blocker. Get back and get your chest facing the pursuit. One-two-one formation on occasion. It’s interesting. Why couldn’t we look as organized on our backcheck? I feel like blaming Higgins. I’m feeling very unfair at the moment. Sorry.

They go to commercial. I have a chance to refocus on this game. And try and ignore this nagging craving for plain potato chips. Lay’s today. Or both. Ruffles and Lay’s. They never have potato chip commercials during hockey. Another advertising deficit for me. Well, the Messier Lay’s ads suck.

We return and Vancouver is on a power-play. It’s hard to realise that might be the case on the ice. Chicago has two men to the puck. How? Miraculous math.

And now they generate a two-on-two. Sharp with Burish. Burish is frighteningly fast. As some may have seen in the last game.

Again, Chicago blunts the Vancouver presence. Canucks generate zero shots and the man-advantage ends.

Someone like Nick Kypreos might say Vancouver dominated. Fact is, they survived. Just over a minute left. Chicago needs to be in five-on-five to assert their between-the-twenties superiority. That’s a football term.

Canucks get another almost-three-on-two. And they flub it up. And get a freebie penalty. Chicago is called for hooking. Patrick Kane. Freebie. What a mistake. Team Canada kind of play.

Wellwood is on with Sundin and Bieksa. Kessler fans on a good chance. And the period ends. Nothing. Shots are even at seven.

First Intermission

Bob Hartley and Dave Morissette analyse. Hartley says we are seeing the Western style of hockey. Less space. Inches matter. More physicality. Morissette mentions physicality from a penalty-minutes point of view. He compares the two teams’ regular season PIM numbers and says they are similar in this series. No judgements passed by either on the stylistic difference. Just facts. A bit bland. But factual.

The challenge in watching these teams is that I don’t instantly recognize players from how they move on the ice and even worse, not even from their numbers. But there are definite and noticeable difference in style between the two clubs. Vancouver might indeed be a “typical Western Conference team”. Whatever that may be.

They move to other NHL news and Western Conference happenings. I’d rather see them stay on this game. Hartley says that Balsillie sings before he works. They have a good laugh. Balsillie, they report, has made an offer to buy the Coyotes but on the condition that the team be allowed to move to Ontario and, they surmise, into Leaf territory. That’ll keep em occupied talking for months, eh? What a waste of Southern Ontario energy. Steve Koulias should be forced to leave The Score and volunteer for the auto industry. I can still vividly recall his rasping, highly irritating, listen-to-me voice.

Another round of discussion follows the third commercial break and we hear about more on the Western Conference happenings. No Habs discussion. I suppose that’s what Ante-Chambre is for.

Now Joel and Phillipe show me how manly Nivea for Men is. Does this ad exist in English? This ain’t your pappy’s twentieth century, bub.

High skill doesn’t matter as much as consistently applied skill of lesser levels. This is what I ponder as I consider the Canadiens’ ongoing absence from the 09 playoffs. Yah, sure they should allow some teams back in. Email me a system.

Second Period (CBC)

I have to switch to CBC. Because I said I would. God. I delay for as many seconds as I can. Vancouver power-play continues as I change the channel. Lots of pointless passing along the boards. Then they get it to the point. A shot. A rebound. A goal.

2-0, Vancouver.

Crash and bang hockey. I switch to English.

Bernier “pounced” on the rebound. How much pouncing goes on in hockey games? Right away, I am irritated.

The audio on the telecast is far better than RDS as is the colour. Hawks forecheck with two players and a third up high. I forgot that the announcers are going to get extra excited when Vancouver does anything resembling correct hockey. And will sound fearful and choked when Chicago pressures. Balance? Forget it.

Blackhawks control deep. Then turn it over. A poor change by Vancouver results in a decent shot on goal by Burish. Rendered harmless by Fort.

Jim tells us that we should feel good about Pyatt being back and on the ice tonight.

Chicago face a winger in the circle but fail to take advantage. Shifted alignment to try, though.

Chicago ices. Vancouver has found ways to slow the Hawks down. It’s hard for me to say how. I’d say being aware of bad Hawk passes and by dominating on faceoffs. A bit like winning by out-punting and playing good zone defence. In football, using the blitz is a way to overcome or at least hide defensive shortcomings. What would the on-ice equivalent be I wonder.

Hormel is supposed to be good for me. Microwave food. Ok, then. What’s next, Nutella as part of a balanced diet? Mothers Against Idiot Diets.

Now they’re using bad rap music to sell some Scotia fan thing. Fifty Cent’s ancient and sluggish club song, dubbed, dumbed and slowed for Canadian consumption.

What a save by Khabibulin. What a calm play-by-play for it. Houde would have lost it. Khabibulin moved like a snake. Or perhaps a younger man. Wow. That’s why Huet is on the bench.

They show the replay. They focus on what the Vancouver player did wrong and not on Berlin Lightning. Too bad.

Aren’t there Canadians to cheer for on Chicago? Aren’t there? Aren’t there?

Hawk and Canuck each in the box now. No Kovalev to watch now, though. God.

Wellwood, Sharp instead. Nice enough, I’d say.

Mitchell gets in and Jim loses it. Harmless foray, overeager play-by-play. CBC guys should watch some RDS to learn the value of not sounding too homer. Shot goes high.

Sedins are on now for the rest of the four-on-four. CBC doesn’t show how much time is left in it. And now Vancouver gets an undeserved goal.

3-0, Vancouver. Henrik Sedin.

Sundin isn’t fast enough for the four-on-four. So he wasn’t on at all during that frame. They show the replay and the puck ekes across the line. Curling goal.

Hawks skate with greater urgency. But no shots. Puck goes the other way as Vancouver panics. And they get called for tripping. It’s not clear which trip is being called. It’s the end-board call they finally clarify after some time wasted on a second replay of the Vancouver goal. Show us something different every time.

Hawk power-play controls. Jim compliments Vancouver’s inability to run a decent PK. Jim could work for the Harper government anytime. This is what you’re seeing. Yes. This is what you’re seeing. You’re not seeing what you think you’re seeing. Emperor’s New Clothes telecasting.

I’m close to leaving (this station).

Luongo smothers a Hawk chance. Someone in the Chicago crowd screams.

PP continues. Duncan Keith blasts and is blocked. More movement. Distance shot finds its way in. The Chicago horn sounds the same as the old, old days. Well, the eighties. Nineteen eighties.

3-1, Vancouver.

Campbell slapshot was screened. Beat the Fort high on the glove side. Byfuglien as one of the big men in the key for Chicago.

Hawks win the faceoff and get to work again. Canucks fire it down. Icing is waved off. Where was this linesman born, I wonder.

Chicago crowd is yelling something. They sound more scuffling. More yell-about. Hawks get some more control and then a shot. Luongo freezes it.

We are now told how golf is very important. A Golftown commercial. Commercials are far more torturous when you are clear on all the cultural referent points and tricks of language.

They show us some action from the Chicago bench area. Alleyway action.

Canucks get in trouble and ice again. Jim says that it’s something Vancouver manages to do. As if it’s one of Alain Vigneault’s white-board musts.

Toews wins a faceoff and a compliment from Jim. Why is Jim Hughson so widely respected? Jim now comments on how Vancouver is doing a good job in getting the crowd out of the game. Pierre agrees and elaborates. McGuire.

No discussion of the play.

Apparently cbc newsworld is Canada’s number one news network. That’s like winning five cups in a row in a six-team league. A bit, wouldn’t you say?

Now they’re talking about the captain, Luongo. Wasting our time with personal anecdotes and impressions. Give us the game and the analysis. Leave the musings to me, gentlemen.

Just over five minutes. Canucks are getting back early and not forechecking so much. It keeps them ahead of Chicago. For now.

Again, Chicago beating the Canucks to the puck. Campbell is a great addition to this team. One-on-one there are few finer in getting around opponents.

Crowd starts chanting “Let’s go Hawks”. Far too lengthy periods spent by Jim and Pierre nattering about their log cabins or the quality of Vancouver shopping. Really. I mean, come on. Call the spinning game would ya.

Sharp goes end to end, splits the defence with little notice and fires off Luongo. Chicago has resumed control of the puck and time-of-possession.

Pierre reminds us of the need for caution as Chicago scored five unanswered goals in game two. Shrewd.

Just under a minute. Thank Brahma. Maybe I can avoid this network for the rest of the playoffs. Which is code for the rest of 2009.

Vancouver goal is seconds after the buzzer. No debate.

Second Intermission

Oh god. I have to do this part first. Just to see what I’m missing. Well, maybe we’ll get Hrudey. And some jaw-dropping observations. He is a gifted observer and teacher of the game.

I find myself wondering how a Montreal-Toronto game might be called in English. Maybe it’s better for my health if I don’t know.

Now a VISA commercial with one of those selected harmless-looking immigrants in a key role (as opposed to one of the immigrants that might make folks uncomfortable. Pick one). Some would challenge me and say she’s white. She’s not. She’s Indian.

Ron McLean and Don Cherry. Cherry in fierce, bright boiled spinach green. I like the suit. Best suits in hockey. We hear from Marc Crawford. Balanced. Interesting. Some details. They show the double-screen. I’d rather hear about the neutral-zone stuff that Vancouver is doing.

Now back to Don.

He compliments Kessler for going after Kane. They show Sedin’s hook and criticizes him hard. Tells the kids how nuts it is. Goes easy. He’s starting to look 75. His skin. Now a picture of Cherry with some kid. How come we never see Jacques Demers pictures?

Bieksa thinks the team is doing well. Bieksa is very comfortable in front of the mike. Sounds like he’s auditioning.

Scott Morrison and another dude talk about the Balsillie purchase offer. I see Balsillie talk for the first time. He’s a bit creepy. Like an Air Farce sketch. He’s got a tux on and says his middle t’s (committed) in that weird substitute teacher way. Deliberate. Dainty.

No wonder the NHL wants nothing to do with this guy.

CBC supports the move. And they plug some make-it-seven website. Seven Canadian teams, I imagine.

I can finally leave this foppish channel.

Third Period (RDS)

We get some “Q” highlights. Voltigeurs lead their series 2-1. Memorial Cup is on May 15th. On this channel the French are the unquestioned kings. Can’t Sweden start doing NHL games? Or how about Iceland.

At least RDS pretends to be objective. And succeeds in far greater measure than CBC. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to check some Versus and TSN games before the Cup is won.

Hydro Quebec tells us to save energy. Now there’s a worthwhile ad. I turn off a light.

We get some numbers on the game. Six of 14 Vancouver shots are by Pyatt and Henrik Sedin. And three other stats. The usual foursome.

And we get a shot of Bowman. He looks about 50. But he’s 70. He’s got Shatner genes.

Third Period actually starts.

Hawks circle and stab. Get the puck in. Canucks take an unfortunate delay of game penalty. That kind of penalty is always unfortunate. I feel serene again. Objectivity rises back up. Cross-ice pass from Toews to Sharp. Bounces away from the lane. Canuck stick.

Missed pass results in a Vancouver clear. Campbell carries it out this time. Huge chance. Post. Hawks continue. Obtuse angle save. The Fort freezes the puck.

Replay shows us Luongo was lucky. Just under a minute left in the Chicago power-play. Canucks win yet another faceoff and clear. Chicago drive in. Get brief control. Canucks get it out. Just under twenty seconds. Crowd getting expressive. They don’t like the dearth of quality shots.

Penalty ends. Chicago continues their pressure.

Still looks like a powerplay. Point shot causes problems. Big rebound. But no sticks can connect. Canucks take over. For two seconds. Hawks return. Blocker save from Fort Luongo.

Hawks are starting to give everything they have. Interference in front of the Canuck net goes uncalled. Canucks are fortunate.

Sharp loses the puck going in. Canucks get a drive. Burroughs is tripped. Falls into the goalie. Seabrook is called. Vancouver power-play.

Chicago red might be the most expressive red in the NHL palette. Washington’s is nice too. (yes, this is dainty talk)

Hawks get an early clear after losing the faceoff. Sedins are on the ice. But they are off after 40 seconds. Quenneville gets a new pair on, too. Walker clears it. Vancouver can’t do much til Sundin walks in on Khabibulin’s right. Safe stop. Again, Sundin is creating. Close call on a shot to Khabibulin shoulder. Sundin never waits to set up on a power-play. He attacks.

But the rest of the power-play is moot. Hawks create a decent chance on a three-on-two soon after the power-play ends. Canucks backcheck smartly.

We are nearing that point in the game when Vancouver gets a bit too relaxed. The nine-minute mark. We are still at about thirteen.

Hawks swarm. Beating Canucks to the puck.

Vancouver is defending this like it’s a regular-season game. Brutal.

Pyatt is one of the Canucks who keeps caring at a high level. Suddenly, Khabibulin makes a great save. RDS guys yell “wow”. I’ll bet Jim kept talking about insurance rates in Nevada.

Khabibulin has a lot left. He looks 30. What in a jar.

Hells Bells blares through the rink. KISS was on earlier. Heavy metal and hockey. Ice cream and cookies. Well, I’d have some.

Just over ten minutes. Hawks get a long shot in and then jam away. Boring. And ineffective. This time. Luongo covers it. He looks like Liut in net to me. Moves the same. Big man. Gets up slow. Like the old St. Louis keeper. Someone wrote that keeper and minder belong in soccer. Why? Should I listen? Should we listen to the Old World?

Hawks are in charge. Of the puck. And again. Canucks with a flip over the glass. Delay of game. I can’t believe it. Was that lack of care? (most of that last paragraph was in Howie Meeker tones)

Hawks dominance in the past five minutes hasn’t resulted in much and maybe one of their gods won an argument in a meeting. They get this bonus power-play. Indirectly earned. But perhaps some sort of hockey justice.

Is hockey justice more like frontier justice or is it just absent? Think of the three most just hockey moments you’ve ever seen. And don’t think of Bourque. Please spare me that.

Hawks can’t get much going on the power-play. They control but can’t get the openings they want. Byfuglien is parked in front. He’s huge. He gets a shot from the side. Nothing.

And the power-play ends. Vancouver’s experience is a factor. They are challenging the Hawks at various checkpoints on the ice. But not skating hard to do it. Sounds like gambling of a type. Is it harder to fix a hockey game or a basketball game, I wonder.

Just over five minutes left. Hawks are getting stopped again. Neutralized. Countered. Met at the pass. Blocked. Frustrated. Slowed.

Well, it’s true. I just don’t see how it’s done. I need a bigger view. Learning lens.

It looks like a man that collapses into zone. It’s a system of some kind. It’s interesting.

Luckily I am taping this game (for non-commercial study purposes obviously) so I can analyse it and perhaps have an answer later on). We shall see.

Two and a half minutes. A lone whistler. Several Hawks. This crowd. Waiting and quiet. Weird bunch. Lots of red and white. Hawks pull the goalie. Just over two minutes. That’s earlier than both Gainey and Carbo do. Then again, it’s two goals. I believe it’s earlier, nonetheless.

Anecdotal. Sorry again.

It’s been a rough off-season for some of us.

Sharp remembers suddenly that the puck is faster than the man. And gets it down. It deflects to Luongo who is forced to freeze it.

RDS finds the Canuck fans in the crowd. The lighting on this telecast reminds me of the old Vancouver arena. I think it’s just bad cameras. Old technology. Or bad wires. Gold plating. That whole myth.

They play the Koivu song. Electro hit from 2001. Reminds me of our captain. And the 02 mini-run. We had a chance. Gilmour. But ran into Paul Maurice and his buddies.

Joel Quenneville’s face darkens, reddens. Goes doggish. Just over thirty seconds. Hawks can’t control. Havlat finally gets it in. Skates in and shoots it off Luongo’s midsection. Not much more. Some good golf shots. Game ends.

Vancouver lead two games to one.

HDS Stars: Nikolai Khabibulin, Lady Luck, Taylor Pyatt
RDS Stars: Kevin Bieksa, Alexander Edler, Roberto Luongo


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