PenCap Musings and In-Game Scribbles
May 6, 2009, by Homme De Sept-Iles
Washington 2 at Pittsburgh 3 (OT)
Crosby and Ovechkin are the featured stars in the lead-up to the game. This despite the fact that Malkin is the real man on Pittsburgh. The Cult of Personality affliction is alive in Quebec, too. My view is that teams should be promoted as opposed to individuals. It’s a different kind of sell but teams have identities and NFL Films have been telling us this for decades; the Steel Curtain, the eye-patched ne’er do-well Raidahs, the no-name defence in Miami and hundreds of other team personas and identities.
Sure, promote one-on-one personalities but if one guy gets injured or underperforms, your marketing angle is gone. And you have to spend time and energy to create the new one. Why not have the multiple angles provided by a team promo?
Just a thought.
Pierre Houde and Benoit Brunet are up in the studio. I’ve never seen him there and he looks odd. All the quality guys are never telegenic. Simms, Madden, Hrudey, Neilson or Walton are not beauty champions, are they? Yes, they should call it a beauty champion.
First Period
RDS is relying on the Versus feed and we have the logo up top to prove it. Washington’s away uniforms are ice-invisible. And Pittsburgh’s black is actually boring in contrast with the ice. Maybe they should max the colour palette a la David Lee Roth’s sunglass-wearing instructional in the editing booth for California Girls. Nobody clued in that his tart instructions were influenced by the fact that everything looked dark to him.
Ovechkin scores.
1-0, Washington.
Chin in hands, a woman looks scared. The puck bounced out opportunistically, rebelliously from behind the end board. Fleury missed it. Oddball ricochet and Ovie …….. oy!
Some booing in the Mellon Camp as the goal is announced.
Both teams are controlling with panache and purpose. A must-win for both. Or so they are conducting themselves.
Washington’s errant passing game will temper Pittsburgh’s own penchant for turnovers. I watch about five turnovers on eight touches of the puck, both teams. Are neutral-zone interruptions fun? I’ll decide.
Huge rebound off a Backstrom shot. Pittsburgh clears. And gets down for a harmless chance on the newly anointed Varlamov. Big man with pads. For hire. He looks good since taking over for Theodore. Will he be a Roy? Or a Ward? Or a Giguere?
Fedorov gives Fleury trouble from the off-wing. Brunet says that Fedorov has been playing excellent hockey. Houde and Brunet are back where they belong. In the booth. Is it still a booth? What’s a booth, anyway. Waitresses keep asking me if that’s where I want to sit. I’ve learned to say no. Liars. (what kind of booth is THIS)
Gonchar and Green. Two great blue-liners for their respective teams. I think both teams are noticeably different if either is missing. Of course, both are healthy and playing in this series. Gonchar has the “A” on his jersey.
Now Pittsburgh allows a lot of frenetic action in their slot areas and around Fleury in general. Washington bangs at a slot-shot rebound and Fleury leans around like a father for an errant child and traps the puck at the side of his net.
More Molson. And dramatic horns and NFL Films music. Molson sucks as I recall. Ok. As I well recall.
We’re at six minutes elapsed. Washington has controlled the puck and we’ve seen very little action in the Washington end.
I see PIttsburgh coach Dan Bylsma for the first time and he affects a calm demeanour. Pleasant yet with an edge. Like a Liberal Party big-shot that you might not trust. Nice watch. Knee up. Brown suit. Glasses. Enjoying the bad Euro electro on the sound system.
How many kids grow up on the ponds of Pittsburgh? Do those ponds freeze?
Scuderi always sounds like a sea-faring name to me. Scurvy. Scuba. Ski boat. Scuderi.
Pittsburgh’s crowd is in the game. From the word go. And loud and boisterous throughout. Dressed in white. Yelling chants.
Washington shuts them up and Backstrom misses a wrap-around in punctuating a three-on-two. There is still isolated yelling. Backstrom should have scored. Lucky, lucky P-Burrgg. But a first power-play is awarded. Washington to go to the man-advantage. Ovechkin on the point alone. Then he floats down to the phone-booth area (hashmarks on the circle).
Talbot does some good work with Mark Eaton and the first segment is without a shot. Ovechkin gives it up blind and Pittsburgh comes down for a brief but tepid two-on-two. Fedorov is on the ice now. Ovechkin stays on throughout.
Kozlov controls from the right circle. Cross-ice for a plunging Ovechkin. Hops over his stick. No shot. Pittsburgh kills the remainder. Just under ten minutes.
Crosby trips a Cap and gets a no-call. Borderline and did not look intentional. But those do get called.
A Capital elects to blast it from behind his net. Along the boards. Reaches the centre-line and is played briefly before an offside ends the sequence. An interesting idea for a break-out. Interesting. No more.
Caps get called. Interference. If this is going to be a balancing act where each team is called equally regardless of the action, I will be disappointed. And will blame the NHL’s Mom and Poppers. There are plenty riddling this league. Riddling. And riddled. And addled, I might add. It ain’t 1975. Get up.
Pittsburgh power-play gets a lot of room from Washington who implode to a severed starfish look for the first minute. Results in one Pittsburgh shot.
Now Crosby finds Kunitz cross-ice for what should have been a goal. But Kunitz can’t completely control. Should have been a goal. Big gawping net.
Gonchar gets it to Staal.(whose skating is as bad as his more famous brother’s) and nothing results. Whistle. Faceoff outside the Pittsburgh blue. Just 20 seconds left in the penalty and just over five minutes in the period.
Capped. Back to five-on-five.
Crosby and Malkin are on separate lines as per usual. Speed and tempo overall has smidgened down.
Fedorov shows good glide and swoop on a forecheck. He nearly effects his own backhand goal but Fleury is alert. Left pad.
Caps are controlling again. Deep. Ovie and his line. Ovechkin is playing beginning of the shift hockey at the end of his shift. MVP.
Brunet remarks how good Ovechkin is.
Pittsburgh crowd is back in it. Off a cheapo chance.
Hits are echoing. Washington slows it down. Makes it look like a powerplay. Pittsburgh looks trapped. A shot hits off the protective netting and saves Pittsburgh.
Just over a minute. What does Theo think about all this? Where will he go next?
Again Pittsburgh’s propensity for mishandling costs them time trapped in their own zone. Crosby takes it in hand and goes end to end. Beautiful rush. He has great speed and magic hands. He is a very, very good player. Just not Gretzky. No fault of his.
His rush and back-hander is stopped but results in a delay-of-game penalty. Net off the moorings. Pittsburgh gets a break from their captain. And fourteen seconds left in the period.
Malkin is on.
Caps clear the second faceoff in this sequence. But Pittsburgh get two very dangerous chances and nearly tie it. Varlamov.
Period ends. Shots are even at eight apiece.
First Intermission
Bob Hartley is talking technically and one gets the impression he is selling himself to the viewing audience. He would like to get behind our bench. Problem is he is not telling us much of any strategic profundity. Too bad. Demers is sitting beside him. Still, the two are a good pairing of passion and patience, people-skills and know-how. Demers has gone on record as saying he is too old to throw his hat in the ring. (He’s 65)
Second Period
Penguins win the faceoff and resume their power-play.
Crosby sets up Malkin beautifully but Malkin doesn’t see the puck well enough til it’s too late. Could have been a great chance. Cross-ice pass.
Bylsma’s demeanour is excellent. He gives off an air of confidence and savvy. As if he knows how to deal with individuals.
Let’s not go with a retread. Let’s get someone who is on the way up and ready to achieve. Then again, maybe we’ve had enough of those for a few decades now. Maybe someone who can handle the pressure. Retread. Man.
Pittsburgh have their best controlled sequences of the game in the first five minutes of this period. Best so far. And they are fore-checking with two deep and one medium-deep. Very aggressive.
No great chances. But some nice moves by Honda. I mean Crosby. Doesn’t he do car commercials?
No. I google it and he’s Reebok and Gatorade. Someone should do iPod or Kicking Horse coffee. Something more interesting. Kovalev could do iPod and Plekanec could be coffee. Hmm, no. Carbo should be coffee. The day of the cigarette ad is done.
Some of the crowd boo Ovechkin when he carries the puck. I wonder what the percentage of boo-birds are from city to city. I imagine the more established the city, the higher the percentage. However the overall numbers are probably under five percent in any given arena. Opinion.
Whoof. Offside is called and that number goes well above five percent all of the sudden. Houde says it’s a good call.
Now some red dude jogs off the ice. In the company of a ref. Red dude was arena staff, seems. Hard to say.
Penguins. Goal. Fedotenko. Two on one and a half. Bylsma is scribbling into a clipboard with an assistant immediately following. Fedotenko tried to get it across. Leg blocked it. Back to his stick. Bang in the net. Fortunate but skilled goal.
1-1, Washington leads. (yes, because they are still carrying the play)
Crowd is pot at full boil. Towels and whites. How original. Can they keep up the noise to the end of the commercial break? Nothing like a commercial break to exhaust yelling.
Green gets called for trying to tame a whelp. Whacks Staal. Goes to the box.
Pittsburgh’s moving-pieces power-play is beautiful to watch. One on the blue. And then a t-formation of four players. Sidelong players slide back and forth and the slot player curls around. It’s hard to defend but needs very precise passing.
For now, it hasn’t generated anything. And then the Pens can’t even set up. Finally with forty seconds they are back deep. But not for long. Caps beat them along the boards. Should not happen. Not that sequence, anyway. You shouldn’t get outnumbered on the boards during a power-play. It happens because two Gwins lose the puck behind the net.
Caps extinguish the penalty.
Backstrom is no Chris Everett Lloyd. More like lovechild of Ace Frehley and Timothy Busfield.
Capitals are carrying the play again.
Lotta, lotta turnovers. Bad short passes in the neutral zone typically. Mike Green keeps things smooth for Washington. Gonchar for Pittsburgh. But between the blues … it’s ugly, son.
Now Pens get control. For a prolonged time. And they keep it. Very impressive. Finally Backstrom gets it out. Receiving end.
Another blown pass reception. Caps.
Pittsburgh’s poor passing along the blue line neutralizes another Penguin mini-moment. Crosby and Ovechkin are both the most dangerous players on the ice. Malkin is absent.
Crosby makes things happen on his own. Tries a wrap-around. And Varlamov has to take it seriously. No goal.
Just over three minutes.
Miroslav Satan is a workmanlike third-liner. He still has his offensive instincts. Actually, I’ve never heard of a player losing those. It’s speed and reaction time they lose. Or confidence.
We are told that Ovechkin has only two shots on goal. But we know when he’s on the ice. All lifted legs and equipment hustle. Crush Kaboom!
Malkin starts to make an imprint. Carries it alone and down the left boards. Takes two Caps to turn him away.
Puck moves back. Eaton. Spin cycle. Speed and flow. Puck in front and bounding.
Now Malkin crushes the goalie. Doesn’t get called. Good chance, scrum and whackatem. Replay: Malkin cross-checked Varlamov. In the crease. What a devil’s wart. But Caps get called. Caps. Wow. Pilsner penalty. Get fired.
Just over forty seconds in the period.
Caps keep Pens from shooting. Survive. End of period.
Second Intermission
It feels as if Bob Hartley is glaring right at me for my remarks. How could he know? I haven’t even published this yet.
Hartley has one of those Patrice Brisebois, Yanic Perrault faces. I couldn’t even tell those two apart in the early days. Yah, well.
They show some nice plays from Malkin. I missed those. What am I watching?
It’s easier to save money using CGI in commercials. We should ban all products that do so. Flint, Michigan, eh.
Using beautiful art to sell us airline seats. Is this the best use of art? Yeah, you’re great. Now help us sell this product, get some dough for our fat cats and let us fire the underlings.
Hartley praises Malkin’s passion. Reminds his critics that they are wrong.
Third Period
Scorpions blaring (Rock You Like a Hurricane).
Caps win the faceoff. Versus says scoring chances are 14-10 in favour of Pittsburgh. Count on CBC not to know this kind of thing.
Burgh is pushing. Not bushing. But Caps hold it all off. Varlamov is always in position. Now Ovie shrugs off a checker as he drop-passes. Defenders are insignificant.
Three on two emerges for Caps as Penguins fumble their way out of their zone. Ovechkin hustles to the open ice but the puck doesn’t get to him. He goes to the net anyway. Fine player.
Now some Rob Zombie. Superbeast.
Tempo is sharp. Less turnovers. Varlamov nearly gives it away. It results in all sorts of (three) shots on goal. One post. Lucky Varlie.
Ovechkin takes Crosby down. Crosby gets up like a sad, beleaguered farmer. Ovechkin goes to the box for interference. Bad move. Cherry would have loved this kid. If he’d coached him.
Dumb passes by the Penguins. What in what. What a wasted opportunity. They get it deep one last time. Crosby to Gonchar at the point. Blast. Stop. Varlamov doesn’t see it but it’s smothered under him. Penalty ends.
Crosby despairs on the bench. Just over thirteen minutes left in the game. Possibly in Pittsburgh’s season, really.
Ovechkin makes puck magic but then can’t control. Has to backtrack and unloose a wrister.
Action continues. Whites and blacks. Some gold and crimson. Too much white. Ice. Jerseys. Fans’ garb.
Fedotenko gets a near breakaway. Gets a shot off. Varlamov. This is what we mean by a goalie stealing a game. Price hasn’t for over a year. His penultimate effort in game three was the first such style of effort in about as long. But no steal. No Varlamov. No Halak. Just shaking my head.
I am visually assured that black people are allowed to buy the Dodge Journey 2009. They’re trying to sell cars to our generation now. Apparently race relations are all better now. Thanks Dodge. For saving the human race.
I wonder what their hiring practices are like.
How can it still be one-one? Posts.
Kozlov has great puck control skills. And he headmans it out of his zone. Don’t see that often. He moved from boards to the middle. Not recommended. Very effective because it’s not expected. And very risky if you mess it up.
It’s puck to post, stick to tape, body to body, ice on wheels. Back and forth. Lots of isolated moments but no flow. Neither team can agree to give in.
Now Dodge has a powerful “for whites only” ad. Rugged. Unforgiving. Burly and all business. Hey, Dodge ain’t for wimps. It ain’t for everybody. But it’s for everybody. Girly drink? Beer. Hot chocolate? Starve.
Laich misses a chance. Pen gets (Dodge) rammed. Malkin comes in alone. Stopped. Caps come in almost two-on-one. Interrupted. Malkin. To Guerin. Doorstep goal. How did that not go in.
Crosby keeps it deep. Caps tire. Slow. To Gonchar. Fired. Stopped. Backstrom gets it out.
Finally an icing saves them all. What pace for those two minutes.
Just seven minutes and a half (and I’m craving orange juice).
Great entry by Kozlov. Keeps it, keeps it, aroooound. And a shot right at Fleury. Frozen. They show a crazy Hilda Brunnehilde Pens fan. Nordic yellow seizure with black paint on her face. She’s enjoying the game.
Now a puck goes over. And Bylsma effects a relaxed cheer pose and gesture. Lemieux’ beard is coming in. Raspy beard. Not a lot of Farley to it.
Caps win the next faceoff. Just over six minutes. Malkin moves in like Lemieux. And draws a penalty. He gets whacked down by Ovie afterward. Held the puck in circles for about seven seconds. Maybe nine. Very impressive. Both Crosby and Malkin have their country’s political visages. Crosby looks like Harper. Evgeni looks like, well, more like a Soviet hitman from the seventies. Doughy face. Hard to pick out of an all-Russian police lineup.
Pens get the Play. Five on four.
Caps ice it early. Pens are zero of five on the PP tonight. So far. Another ice. After a big wasted shot. Bounced back and was cleared.
Penguins score. Malkin.
2-1, Pittsburgh.
What a shot. High shot. Moved around a guy. Fired it high. Over Varlamov’s right shoulder. Great goal. All Evgeni. All hitman.
Just under four and a half minutes. Welcome to Pittsburgh. The confident towels roll and troll. Spinning hubris. Expectant crowns.
Pens are icing. Their five-on-five might not solve the upcoming onslaught.
Ovie on the ice. He is annoyed at the turn of events. He is at the puck no matter where it is. What a guy.
Orpik takes Ovechkin out. Bang. Orpik. I hate Orpik. Ovie is up. Pens take a penalty. Dupuis. What? Orpik’s hit was legal. Just watch Orpik and you’ll find out.
This is their chance. Boudreau calls and gets a time-out. (Hey, I don’t assume anything) Gathers his fellas and starts marking up the white-board. I wonder if he is using dry-erase. (and if his markers squeak)
That’s a lot of whiteboards to buy.
Fleury freezes it after a dangerous bounce and won faceoff by Washington.
Caps score. Side of the net. How. What. Such a quick puck.
2-2, Tied.
Backstrom. Looks more telegenic without the helmet. He looks like a Loverboy member’s son. I’d better not have to watch three overtime periods.
Just over a minute. Caps pour in. Nothing. Pens are just hanging back. Afraid. Malkin is gassed. Or hurt. Hard to say. Shaken up, it seems.
How can Lemieux just watch? Resists comebacks game after game, season after season. How does he do it.
Period ends.
Third Intermission (First time I’ve written that this season)
They are tough on Pascal Dupuis. Hartley and Demers. So was Houde. And Brunet. Mauvais punition. Where’s Yvon Pednault? Bring him back, jeez. He’d fit right in.
First Overtime Period
It’s sudden death. As usual. It’s an unusual way to settle game. Really why would you let a team, a city, a sports corporation’s entire season end on something potentially unfair, fluky or unfounded? It’s the most important time of the season. It should be all goals scored in the period. The anti-shootout people would even have to admit that a shootout is more democratic than sudden-death OT. At least you are guaranteed three shots in a shootout. Sudden-death can end in the first nine seconds. Eight now. Hey?
Lots of sloppy shot choices. “Just shoot.” Another stupid element of sudden death. In the hope of generating something lucky, players just whack at anything that comes their way. Shouldn’t quality of hockey increase as we get closer to the Stanley Cup?
Now an unfortunate penalty. Delay of game. Against Washington.
Caps get it out to start. Gonchar is stopped and then Malkin does carry it in. Crosby from the left circle. Around it goes. Letang to Crosby. Blasts it. Stopped. Letang gives it away and it gets cleared.
Another Pen incursion. Whistled. Malkin clears a body from his chest. Strength of a vampire. Haughty physical dismissal. He is a strong man.
They are saying that Ovechkin has had an ordinary game. Hmm. You know every time he is on the ice he is extraordinary. I’m not kidding. He is all flashy strength and urgent skill. I find it interesting to hear him called ordinary. Or that his effort was ordinary. Pens create hot pressure to close the powerplay. Sticks, pokes. Chances. Fear. Caps survive. But the Penguins smell something. They stay around.
Finally Ovie. Takes it down. Creates a long-shot problem. Bouncing rebound. Nothing more. They return. Semin. To Ovie. Long shot. Nothing. Wide.
Caps are coming in again.
Puck is down in Cap territory. I forgot how long these games take. Every chance could be THE chance. It’s draining even for the viewer. Every moment is magnified. This is what playoff hockey is in its distilled state.
The back and forth seems to resume. Both teams need to slow it down. Save their synapses. The pace slows. Washington enters. Poti shoots from a sharp angle. Deflects crowdward.
Faceoff.
It’s 10PM and I should be contemplating bed. But I am contemplating Russians.
Doorstep. Varlamov is saved. Saved. Lucky Varley. It looks better spelt that way. Varlie. Varley.
Fleischmann gets in. Forced to the corner. Letang fighting to get it out. Falling to get it out. Does. At the Cap blue line. I am suddenly reminded of the blue-line shot that somehow beat Huet in Game Six in 06. Deflected upward off Rivet’s stick. Season over.
Pens get another chance. Not as good. It’s all from corners or at angles. But if Sid the Kid gets it in the slot, forget it. Malkin, too.
Ovie may as well scream as he skates in on a goalie. He believes he’s going to score when he goes down. Goalies start to believe it, too. Yeah, he should just scream all the way down. His goal would be a blast from the side. From where it shouldn’t go in. Or high up top. What velocity he has on his shot.
Ovie comes down. Uses a moving screen. Square. It goes wide.
Staal is turnover and turnover.
Ovie comes down. Off-wing. Mild moving screen. Wrister. Fleury gets a pad and glove on it.
Right Now by Van Hagar melts in. Then the organist. If I had a choice of stairs or elevator, I wouldn’t take the stairs just because it’s an old antiquated tradition. Face it. Organs are awful.
And so are Pittsburgh goals.
Penguins score.
3-2, Pittsburgh.
Point shot deflects past Varlamov. Off Letang. How can anyone be blamed for winning or losing in a hockey game? I mean really. Caps fans in the audience are stunned. Red beards and disbelief.
HDS Stars: Malkin, Ovechkin, Varlamov
RDS Stars: Varlamov, Malkin, Letang
Hey, the Visa ad in French is minus the borderline Indian woman. It’s two white women. Clear. Maybe they couldn’t find anyone for those optics. Or maybe they did. And didn’t hire her.
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