I Am Your Commissioner
June 1, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles
“In the first two games of the Stanley Cup final, both Philadelphia losses, the Flyers’ defenceman has gone out of his way at the final buzzer to scoop up the game puck, therefore denying the Blackhawks a vulcanized memento of their victories.
After Game 2, Pronger says he deposited the souvenir in the garbage “where it belongs.”
Now if I’m the NHL commissioner there is no tolerance for this kind of nonsense. Here is my ruling.
Unsportsmanlike Conduct
Gradation Level C
- Suspension: One Game
- Fine: $20,000
- Off-season work ten hours with youth hockey team on the spirit of fair play (to be determined by commissioner’s office)
Hey. I’m the commissioner here.
Any complaints? First take this quiz:
A quiz
Are you wondering if you’re a bully?
Here’s a quick way to tell. Look over the following list. If you answer “yes” to:
1 or 2 — Possibly a bully in the making
More than 2 — You are a bully and should consider ways to change your behavior.
1. Do you pick on people who are smaller than you, or on animals?
2. Do you like to tease of taunt other people?
3. If you tease people, do you like to see them get upset?
4. Do you think it’s funny when other people make mistakes?
5. Do you like to take or destroy other people’s belongings?
6. Do you want other students to think you’re the toughest kid in school?
7. Do you get angry a lot and stay angry for a long time?
8. Do you blame other people for things that go wrong in your life?
9. Do you like to get revenge on people who hurt you?
10. When you play a sport or game, do you always have to be the winner?
11. If you lose at something, do you worry about what other people will think of you?
12. Do you get angry or jealous when someone else succeeds?
Also of note is Pronger teammate Daniel (sorry, Danny) Briere’s complicit accompanying statement. “I’m sure there’s a method (to Pronger’s madness),” said Daniel Briere. “He seems to be disturbing a lot of people and we’re a team that disturbs a lot of people so I guess he fits right in.”
Briere would never, uh, stoop to Pronger’s puck-stealing level but his (and other Flyers’) unwillingness to call out their teammate is embarrassing.
But nobody criticizes a bully. Not even in the family. Ain’t that right? Ain’t it? Ain’t it? Got a problem with that? Got a problem?
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