The Diachronic Barber Pole Observations of a Recovering Hockey Exile

Montreal Canadiens vs. New York Rangers

January 11, 2011, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Canadiens have nearly been tranquilized into a Ranger torpor of their own.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Boston Bruins

January 8, 2011, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Andrei is of no use. Floating. Unused clothes on a hanger. It’s a windy closet.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Pittsburgh Penguins

January 6, 2011, by Homme De Sept-Iles

We all need chocolate.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Atlanta Thrashers

January 3, 2011, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Pacioretty’s skating is so ungainly I can’t help but stare at it in repulsion.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Florida Panthers

December 31, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

How does Jacques Martin manage to remain worried during a seasonal address to the fans?

Montreal Canadiens vs. Tampa Bay Lightning

December 30, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Fire Benoit Brunet.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Washington Capitals

December 28, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

We never know, says Brunet with the air of someone sharing secrets of nuclear fission.

Montreal Canadiens vs. New York Islanders

December 26, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

My toaster oven suddenly becomes more of a focal point as Plekanec takes a faceoff deep right. And loses it.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Carolina Hurricanes

December 23, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Cole is in. Shot. Deadman distance. Stopped.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Dallas Stars

December 22, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

And Andrei Kostitsyn is a healthy scratch for the first time in his career

Montreal Canadiens vs. Colorado Avalanche

December 20, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Yes, that Colorado font still has some appeal.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Boston Bruins

December 17, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Can we get a few more goals? What.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Philadelphia Flyers

December 15, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Crowd is coats off and buttons stretched over crowing fabric.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Toronto Maple Leafs

December 11, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

That red helmet has to go. Joel looks like a Micronaut.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Detroit Red Wings

December 10, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Ah, I gave up. My guest is more entertaining than the reality. The reality is Montreal is not ready for prime time.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Ottawa Senators

December 7, 2010, by Homme de Sept-Îles

Our man from Richmond Hill. His ninth goal.

Montreal Canadiens vs. San Jose Sharks

December 4, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Like a fat man on the ropes, the Sharks effect one of the most slovenly rope-a-dope efforts I’ve seen. They can’t skate or pass with the Canadiens. So they heat up the canvas and sneak Cali bourbon in their opponents’ water pail.

Montreal Canadiens vs. New Jersey Devils

December 2, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Brunet says Hedberg’s night is over.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Edmonton Oilers

December 1, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

He’s a bit of a songster. Peacock in a suit. Garden wet. Slick smirk.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Buffalo Sabres

November 27, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Miller keeps the Sabres, desperate, diving, sliding all, from a two-goal deficit. He is needed here. And he is more resolute than most of the other mask-wearers in this league. Like him or not. He’s more than a streak of aluminum.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Atlanta Thrashers

November 26, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

My brain is itchy. My hair is itchy. My eyes are dry. Losing is like swimming in hay.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Los Angeles Kings

November 24, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Christmas should be retired. And certain Motown and Beatles songs. Enough.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Philadelphia Flyers

November 22, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Coburn responded. Called for roughing. Coburn looks like a jaundiced vampire. Puzzled and bloodless. Big ugly onion teeth, besides.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Toronto Maple Leafs

November 20, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Alain enjoys discussing fraudulence. Exposing it. He leads the questions along the Colin Campbell lines.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Nashville Predators

November 18, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Montreal’s pace has been osmogrified by Nashville. They’ve cocooned and drugged their captor. Is a Predator an insect? Their logo is a sabre-tooth beast of some kind. Or an unusual tiger.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Philadelphia Flyers

November 16, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Scarecrows are flammable.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Carolina Hurricanes

November 13, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

This planet is hockey. This town is tinsel. This heart is Montreal’s.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Boston Bruins

November 11, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Julien stands, hands in pocket and nods in the affirmative. How many suits does an NHL coach own? Are they subsidized by the NHL? By the individual teams?

Montreal Canadiens vs. Vancouver Canucks

November 9, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

Living room invitations are one item. Stanley Cup wins another.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Ottawa Senators

November 6, 2010, by Homme De Sept-Iles

He plays as if he’s eaten three bunches of pre-game bananas.

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